dont worry 2

Don’t worry I’ll be fine

Just let me slit my wrists

One more time

15:46 - 22/11/2006 - reacties {9} - reageer

dont worry

15:40 - 22/11/2006 - reacties {1} - reageer

ff berichie van ikkuh:D

yeah

nou ff opdaatjuh van ikkuh...

ik ben al ff geleden wezen praten over mijn probleempjuh

haha red het ook wel als ik er nie over ga praten denk ik zelf

maar heb hulp ingeroepen omdat het gewoon echt fout ging...

maar jah ik heb nu denk toch al meer als een maand niet gesneden:D:D:D

maar ja de laatste keer wel erg gesneden op verkeerde plaatsen ook

en erg diep :S ben bang dat dit altijd zichtbaar blijft dus das wel weer klote dan anderhand dan want op het moment zelf voelde het goed...

alles gaat betrrrrr ik ben weer vaker die vroelijke gekke naatje... maar nog niet zoals ik normaal ben als ik me echt goed voel als ik eerlijk ben... maar het komt weer...

nog ff een kilootje of 10 afvallen en dan ben ik ook weer gelukkig met mezelf... hoop ik anders gaat dat afvallen weer de verkeerde kant uit... waar menig een in mijn omgeving bang voor is  ik denk dat dat wel mee gaat vallen... haha goed dieet toch ik eet nog maar de helft ongeveer van wat ik normaal at... of ik eet niet maar jah helemaal niet eten hou ik niet zo lang vol haha... en als ik veel eet voel ik me echt klote (wat dan eigenlijk niet goed is maar jah ) dan ga ik 2 dagen op rantsoen als ik dat doe en dan drink ik gewoon een 1.5 liter water nadat ik heb gegeten haha ben ik het sneller kwijt  jah het gaat goed ik word wel weer een beetje slank hoop dat dat zo blijft... me weegschaal liegt dus ik weet niet hoeveel ik nu precies weeg ( hij zegt dak heeeeel weinig weeg dus ik geloof hem niet) maar jah ik wil ongeveer nog wel een 10 kilo kwijt  maar jah als ik niet weet hoeveel ik nu weeg is dat moeilijk te checken hahaha komt goed ik ga pas stoppen als ik weer echt mooi slank ben want nu ben ik nog steeds een klein dik proppie

pffff wat heb ik verder nog te melden.... hmzzz ff niks.... zit te bedenken of ik de fotos erop zet waar ik in mezelf heb gesneden....??????

spreek jullie laterzzzz

11:40 - 26/10/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

kill things on the inside

14:47 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {4} - reageer

just to see

Just to See ...

Sometimes you have to runaway,

Just to see who will come after you.

Sometimes you have to talk softer,

Just to see who will listen.

Sometimes you have to stand up in a fight,

Just to see who is standing by your side.
Sometimes you have to make a wrong decision,

Just to see who will help you fix it.

Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love,

Just to see if they will come back …

14:31 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

just because

14:30 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {1} - reageer

made of scars....

This one came from looking
This one opened twice
These two seem as smooth as silk, flush againt my eyes
This one needed stiches and
This one came from rings
This one isn't even there, but I feel it more because you don't care

Yeah, Cut right into me
Yeah, Cause I am Made Of Scars
Yes I am made of scars

This one had it comming
This one found a vein
This one was an accident, but never gave me pain
This one was my fathers and
This one you can't see
This one had me scared to death,
But I guess I should be glad I'm not dead!!

Yeah, Cut right into me
Yeah, I am made of scars
Yes, I am made of scars

God, Don't you believe it

And I will find a way
Everything you are I will betray
Oooh, I swear that I will find a way
Everything you are's inside me

This one was the first one
This one had a vice
This one here I like to rub on dark and stormy nights
This one was the last one,
I don't remember how
But I remember blood and rain
AND I NEVER SAW IT COMING AGAIN

Yeah, Cut right into me
Yeah, Cause I am made of scars
Yes, I am made of scars

That's what I'm made of!!!

14:28 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {1} - reageer

in my dreams?

If I could sleep forever

Would you still be in my dreams?

 

14:26 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

liquid so warm and red

Now my tears have run dry,

Crimson tears are what I cry.

These crimson tears come with a twist,

I cry these tears from my wrist.

Across my skin I drag the blade,

I watch as beneath the blood my skin begins o fade.

The sharp pain is so real,

A sigh of relief as I can finally feel.

With this liquid so warm and red,

I feel alive and no longer dead.

14:25 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

?????

who are you to tell me what to do?
why should i listen to you.
what have you ever done for me?
nothing at all from what i can see.

14:24 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

control

i control the cut,
i contol it  all.
i just cant control when im happy,
and when i fall.

14:22 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {2} - reageer

pain has just begon...

The sky is growing dark,

Alone I fall apart.

This pain is too much to bear.

I’ve given up and I don’t care.

You look at me and see me grin,

Truthfully, im dying within.

You see me as the happy one,
but for me the pain has just begun.

14:22 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

really my wish???

My heart is heavy with sorrow,

I don’t want to wake tomorrow.

I want to cut my arm deep,

Take a few pills and fall asleep.

I want to get away from here,
but perhaps that truly is my fear.

Is it really my wish to die?

Let’s find out and give it a try.

14:21 - 13/10/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

draw it on my wrist2

15:15 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

fading

15:11 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

smile instead of cry

15:10 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

hold your breath

15:09 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

fake smile

15:09 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

death

15:08 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

cut/ beautiful broken

15:07 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

cut wrist slit troat

15:06 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

beause of me

15:05 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

i remember everything

15:03 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

never go back

I will never recover from this
I will never believe in this again,
And I can never go back to the way I used to be
Before this started

15:01 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

focus on the pain...

i hurt myself today

to see if i still feel

i focus on the pain

the only thing that's real

14:59 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {2} - reageer

fadinggg

...I can't help it, I'm fading away...
...Embraced by the grip of this hopeless decay...

14:58 - 29/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

hurt....

21:45 - 23/09/2006 - reacties {1} - reageer

slowly dying

21:39 - 23/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

hurts...2 much...

**********************************************************************

 

...You hurt the thing on the outside to try and kill the thing on the inside...

 

**********************************************************************

 

Choking, blinding, the disease sets in.
It controls my thoughts, it will always win.

It's all-consuming, it will never go away.
Though under the surface, it is here to stay.

Steel gives the death that sweetens life.
Symbolical beauty in the form of a knife.

I pick up the blade, slice it down through my skin.
In this one motion I release the pain from within.

 

*********************************************************************

 

What if you saw my arm one day
And all those bloody trails?
Will you be able to understand why
I cut when all else fails?

Have you even contemplated
or thought about suicide?
Do you have any fucked up emotions
that you always try to hide?

 

**********************************************************************

 

 

 

 

 

21:22 - 23/09/2006 - reacties {0} - reageer

draw on wrist 1

...i'll draw a picture...
...a picture with a twist...
...i'll draw it with a razor blade...
...i'll draw it on my wrist...

15:38 - 23/09/2006 - reacties {8} - reageer